Thursday, 23 June 2011


Life is not a fairy tale. Sometimes when you met the kindest people, you will think, 'How I have been a bad muslim in this life'. But when you met people that you think is the worst, you will said 'Oooh, how grateful I am to Allah for give me such a pure heart'.

But sometimes, other people will always talk bad about others. That's normal because it is human nature after all. Maybe I would say that in the past. Now, when I flashed back the time I spent at Mecca, how mad and angry I felt when I heard people said something bad about others. I felt relieved because spending time really change me.

There was once at Mecca, when my fellows mate and myself at a hill called Jabal Magnet. I heard a conversation that four men were talking about. At first I could not even care less. But after a while, they started to talk about how good our country for having such system that can support citizens to study oversea.

For me was not a bother. Suddenly I noticed, one of the man was quite. Really really quite. At first I just ignored him. But, some thought hit me on the head "Of course he is quite. Compared to our country, his homeland never had such things. He only stayed in Mecca to study about Islam which take a while for him to arrived here since he is a poor person". Then, that time, I don't know why but I felt really angry because if me who is the one on the man shoes I think I will go berserk if someone say like that in front of my face.

But, he look really calm and even smile when the men about that topic repeatedly knowing the insulting was direct to him. I was shocked but then I realized, maybe it was hard for him to arrive there, but still with his du'a Allah grant his wishes to study at the Holy place compared to the other men, they maybe rich, but even a six years old kid could differentiated pure-hearted guy and a bad guy is because seriously, they still could not kept their mouth closed even though we are all in Holy place.

There, I learnt and met a lot of things. I learnt that there are people who are really poor that they even didn't have anything to eat, with an old slippers, they walked around the Mecca city with a big ambitious, that is to make Islam as a triumph in their and other people life.
I also met the most kind and shy person. Maybe he is still young and inexperienced and always apologize to my fellow friends and myself when he thought he made some fault. But seriously, looking at his streak, his face, how he talk to other people, we know that how pure this person, how lucky he is for being able to live, to study at Mecca, the city where Islam begin during our Prophet's time.

So, I just hope, in the future, I will be able to go to Mecca back and seriously, I want to become a good muslim doctor so that, I can go back there and serve muslim and others that are in need. I know, I am not a good muslim as I should be, but with this ambition, I wish that way, I could at least serve my muslim brothers and sisters there, and hope that one day I could met a person that is as kind as the "person' is.

Saturday, 2 April 2011

Why Doctor? なぜ医者

Aimless life is certainly a sin. Many people have no definite aim in life. They are like the travelers going ahead without any destination. Such people lead an aimless life and what they do in life, is largely a matter of chance, determined by the circumstances in which they happen to be placed. Aimless people do not achieve anything in life. They just live because they have to live. One should have a definite purpose of life. The people who want success in life, first of all, determine their target. They keep before them their circumstances, their virtuous, their qualities, their talents and their ability to work. They select some definite target of their life and remain successful.

Different people have different aims in life. Some aim at wealth, some at power, some at fame, some at business and some at education and knowledge. My aim is neither wealth nor fame. I wish to serve by country and my religion with best of my talent. I love Islam and I really believe that everybody should think to make it a really great religion. I want to become a doctor. It is a noble profession. In medical line, there is much more scope of service. On cent serve the patients everywhere in the country. This is my personal choice. My parents have compelled me to select it. I wish to become a very successful doctor in future. So I am studying hard to achieve my target. I have keen interest in medical line, so I do not feel any trouble in studying at all. After obtaining the medical degree, I plan to work in rural areas where there is much shortage of doctors. I do not have the lust of money. I will go to the rural areas and shall help the poor people. I would be best sort of service. This will give me extreme satisfaction and that is the aim of my life. I hope one day I can achieve this dream even though there are many obstacles ahead of me, I will make sure at least, I can do something in this world. Sometime people told me, "what a snobbish thinking you can change this world!!". But I know deep in my heart it is a noble thing to do. Maybe I can't change it completely, but I hope I can build a better hope to people who are in need like the Palestinian and other Muslim or even other people.

Friday, 18 March 2011


I want to be loved, but you don’t seem to love me
I wander about, within that repetition
I found a single answer
Even (if I’m) scared, and even (if I’m) hurt
I can tell the person that I love “I love you”

Do you love me? Do you not love me?
It doesn't matter to me either way
No matter how much I wish for it
There are a lot of things in this world that can't be changed
That’s right, and only the fact that I love you
Is a truth that's unchangeable by anyone

Passing through one thousand nights, (I want to overcome the thousands of nights,)
I want to tell you
There’s something that I have to tell you
I want to be loved, but you don’t seem to love me
I wander about, within that repetition
I found a single answer
Even (if I’m) scared, and even (if I’m) hurt
I can tell the person that I love “I love you”

Putting my feelings into words is scary, but
I can tell the person that I love “I love you”

I can’t express in words, the joy of meeting you in this big world
So we smile, singing about the autumn
That passes by in vivid colours, with a 'do-re-mi'
We turn our backs on the winter,
Waiting for the sunlight streaming through the trees in spring
And are reborn again anew, so that we can protect someone

When I look back on the path that I came down, and my destination,
I would always do it with timid eyes
I want to face you, but I can’t be honest
I, who repeatedly went through days of not being able to love his partner honestly (straightforwardly)
And hated being alone on that day
Seemed to love people in a flawless way (while unwounded)

Passing through one thousand nights, (I want to overcome the thousands of nights,)
I want to tell you
There’s something that I have to tell you
I want to be loved, but you don’t seem to love me
I wander about, within that repetition
I found a single answer
Even (if I’m) scared, and even (if I’m) hurt
I can tell the person that I love “I love you”
Even if those feelings don't come true, (Even if those thoughts aren't fulfilled,)
I can tell the person that I love “I love you”

And that's the most wonderful thing in the world

_Aqua Timez-千の夜をこえて_

Really touchy right.... Man, I heard this song and then suddenly it touched my heart. I don't know why.. But for some reason, I'm sure everyone who heard this song will feel something... It seems like it's really hard to say "I love you" to the person we love, ha? Especially if we are really coward... It takes time, and sometime it's painful for both parts to say the three words. I wonder if life is really that harsh?? Really??? I don't know... But I hope when the time come, for me, or for all of us, we will be able to do something about it. Not just letting it go and cowardly back off...

Friday, 10 December 2010

My Cat... -Chibi-

Okay... For your information, those pictures above are all my cat... She is really naughty and hyperactive...

Sleeping is her hobby.....

A cute one...


Sunday, 28 November 2010

Thank you..

Thank you so much to all my friends that had wished me Happy Birthday...

I really appreciate it..
Eventhough we don't know that well..
Eventhough we only be friend for only a few couple of months..
I really genuine feel thanks and embarrassed on the same time since I don't remember all of you guys birthday...
But still I will try to remember it and wish it on the exact time...
And for Renji..
Sorry, i REALLY sorry for distancing myself from you..
You are not on false here...
So, I really hope that you guys forgive me..
Thank you for all the wishes you ad made...
Thank you very much...

Monday, 15 November 2010

Chapter 6 - Resolve!!

Chapter 6 - Resolve


If you counter, don't let him hit you

If you protect someone, don't let him die

If you attack, kill.

-Urahara Kisuke-

Akiko attacked without knowing what happen to her... Suddenly a very vigorous aura engulfed her and with such an overwhelming power, a two-edges pointed sword was forming in Akiko hand. Akiko blinked. What happened to me? I can't control my body. My body didn't followed my brain. Why is it so dark? I can't see a thing? What's happening??

But on the other side of the tatami mat which facing Akiko was a bewildered Kakashi. It seems like Kakashi had been mesmerized by the sight of the forming-sword. Suddenly Kakashi murmured something "Ikiru!! But it should have been destroyed. What?? What is Ikiru doing with Akiko. I taught it was vanished." Then, Kakashi glimpsed at Akiko. It seems Akiko lose control. Her eyes is darking. What is happening? Kakashi stepped forward but without even a blinked Akiko swing "Ikiru" and cut through some of Kakashi's hair. "Akiko, stop!! What are you doing?? I know you are mad, but please stop. Fight it Akiko! I know you are there. Fight it!!".

Akiko felt really useless even when Kakashi kept encourage her to regain herself back but it seems something was holding her back. Shit!! Why can't I control myself. With this keep going I will surely lose my self and end up being eaten by this darkness. Otou-san, Sakura-chan help me. Help me!! Suddenly Akiko saw a figure. A human. A man with a gray hair and a deep penetrating crimson eyes. That man then, pulle dhis hands to Akiko. Kakashi?? What is he doing here? Isn't he a bad person. Why??

Kakashi who was busying kept a distance from Akiko suddenly felt tumbling to the ground. Man!! This is trouble-some. Without averting his eyes from Akiko, Kakashi started mumbling something. Suddenly a white-glowing chain struck Akiko's body and pinned her whole being against the tatami mat. Kakashi then, stood right next to her and made a hand stance and suddenly he froze like a human without a soul.

Akiko. It seems like Kakashi soul was inside Akiko inner-world desperately to get her back. Akiko it's me. I mean no harm. Please Akiko grap my hand. Hurry! Before Ikiru started to eat you alive. Akiko hurry!! Please!!

"Ka-kashi" Akiko can voiced herself out. It seems like she can't talked and move at all. Even though it surprised her to no end when Kakashi suddenly asked her to grab her hand. Then, when she hear the desperation of Kakashi voice to save her, without a doubt her hand move on her own and grabbed firmly on Kakashi hand. After that, it seems her world go white.

Kakashi gave out a relief sighed after seeing Akiko got back to her body. It was surely a relief but this problem had become worse. Not because Akiko didn't want to listen to him, but she also possessed "Ikiru" which should had been vanished long time ago. It looks like the first thing I need to do tomorrow is explain throughly to this girl what really had happen and what actually is she. But it will be hard. Haisyh!!! It so trouble-some. Then, I have to really investigate about "Ikiru". Man!! A lot of work. Seems I have to ask for "his" help. No choice.

Sorry for the long wait. Please leave a comment ok? It will encourage me to write more.
To be continued.....

夢 - Dream

If you ask me what I want to be, I will answer "I want to become an ultraman".

(Hahaha...) If I were still a kid maybe I would answer something like that. But if you ask me now what I want to be. Hmmm... It will take a while because there are many things I want to be. I want to become a doctor, basketball player, writer, artist and so on.

But lately, when I pried my surrounding, I would get this feeling that all human have -jealousy-. Yes!! Envious, anxious, curious, feeling of overwhelming when seeing someone succeed. Why?? because I want to be success to like everyone else only that it's hard. Hard because I can't control my feeling whenever or whatever I do. I would follow my seven sense, instinct and of course my heart but it seems every time I followed it, it became unexpected which leads to something misfortune.

Especially when we have someone like siblings that even far greater than ourself. It felt like a burden you know?? A heavy overweight burden like the world is on our shoulder because everyone assume that we are better and good than our siblings. Everyone expect ourself to achieve their expectations. But, when we failed, we could be disowned by the others or maybe get rid off. And it is freaking nerve-wracking because it seems like out exist-ion in this world is only to meet their expectations.

It's hard to meet other people expectation but at first, I think hmm... maybe I really must, compulsory to beat my brother if it's not, it's the end of the world. But everything I do always wrong and everyone always questioned my ability "Is he really his brother?, is he really the siblings of that good student??". Whenever I heard that quotes I would told myself why? why? I can't meet their expectation? Why can't become better than him?

After some thought, I started to realize, If I want to become better than my brothers, I must work hard maybe at first it will be hard, but it will be worth it. Maybe compare to my brothers I'm more talkative and sometime crazy but life is not fairytale right?? Myself is mine alone. If other people expect I'm like my brothers. They are wrong. That's definitely. Because I'm not my brothers. I'm myself.

And I am gonna surpass my brothers my own way. Right now, I don't care what other people say, front or behind. As long that I am myself that's fine. I don't want to become other people. I want to become myself.

Brothers I will beat you all. Definitely. I will make mother and father proud. I will succeed and break all of your records. For sure. it's only matter of time. But I will prove myself that I'm better than all of you and with my own way I will reach my dream.