夢 - Dream

If you ask me what I want to be, I will answer "I want to become an ultraman".

(Hahaha...) If I were still a kid maybe I would answer something like that. But if you ask me now what I want to be. Hmmm... It will take a while because there are many things I want to be. I want to become a doctor, basketball player, writer, artist and so on.

But lately, when I pried my surrounding, I would get this feeling that all human have -jealousy-. Yes!! Envious, anxious, curious, feeling of overwhelming when seeing someone succeed. Why?? because I want to be success to like everyone else only that it's hard. Hard because I can't control my feeling whenever or whatever I do. I would follow my seven sense, instinct and of course my heart but it seems every time I followed it, it became unexpected which leads to something misfortune.

Especially when we have someone like siblings that even far greater than ourself. It felt like a burden you know?? A heavy overweight burden like the world is on our shoulder because everyone assume that we are better and good than our siblings. Everyone expect ourself to achieve their expectations. But, when we failed, we could be disowned by the others or maybe get rid off. And it is freaking nerve-wracking because it seems like out exist-ion in this world is only to meet their expectations.

It's hard to meet other people expectation but at first, I think hmm... maybe I really must, compulsory to beat my brother if it's not, it's the end of the world. But everything I do always wrong and everyone always questioned my ability "Is he really his brother?, is he really the siblings of that good student??". Whenever I heard that quotes I would told myself why? why? I can't meet their expectation? Why can't become better than him?

After some thought, I started to realize, If I want to become better than my brothers, I must work hard maybe at first it will be hard, but it will be worth it. Maybe compare to my brothers I'm more talkative and sometime crazy but life is not fairytale right?? Myself is mine alone. If other people expect I'm like my brothers. They are wrong. That's definitely. Because I'm not my brothers. I'm myself.

And I am gonna surpass my brothers my own way. Right now, I don't care what other people say, front or behind. As long that I am myself that's fine. I don't want to become other people. I want to become myself.

Brothers I will beat you all. Definitely. I will make mother and father proud. I will succeed and break all of your records. For sure. it's only matter of time. But I will prove myself that I'm better than all of you and with my own way I will reach my dream.

-がんばっていきまっしょ-